Monday, October 13, 2014


Hey Y'all,
I just had major surgery on September 10. I was supposed to take 6-8 weeks off,but of course you know me. I dont cancel shows and I don't play with my paycheck. to work I went.
Now I am paying the price. My anemia is more severe.. and I have to get it back to normal asap or have a blood transfusion. I dont want that..
I gotta make a back later to finish...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

THE RED JUICE IS GONE!!! You gotta have talent now!! Thanks Miley!! Shock Value has no value anymore!!

I wasnt gonna,but I can't not say anything. So here it goes.
I'mma need Miley Cyrus to go somewhere and sit down and think seriously about what she did,because she actually has talent. And her performance was sad, silly and degrading. And a bit racist,but Im not going THERE. I'mma need people who are trying to be in the music industry who have no musical talent whatsoever to get a damn job doing something else and leave it to those who study and practice and sacrifice and work HARD. Cause you see, the WORLD IS TIRED OF SHOCK VALUE. People are struggling out here and need music to help them through this thing called life. There are people who want to dance because they are happy or want to release some stress from working hard at living. People want to FEEL emotionally.They want to be connected. Lets let strippers have their thing. Keep TWERKING (I HATE THAT WORD) where it belongs. Not where little girls 4 years old can and want to learn how to do it. Lets return to the world where I had to sneak to find out anything about sex cause it was not in my face all day long it was HIDDEN. LOL (Sorry I made myself laugh there..) Yes I learned about sex from looking at my daddys playboy magazines. Dont judge me. LOL. But SERIOUSLY. All of y'all " musicians" trying to sell your soul to be popular, I feel sorry for you. If I were rich like Miley,I would be somewhere trying to build somebody a damn house or feed someone, not trying to stay relevant in a fake world. Its all smoke and mirrors honey... and the last thing Im going to say to the future musicians..Y'all better learn your craft,practice,pratice,practice..cause there's no more red juice to drink. THE WORLD IS SMARTER THAN THEY ARE TELLING YOU.REAL TALENT WEARS THE BIG WHITE HAT AND ALWAYS WINS!!! I want to go down in history as a human who tried to make someone feel better with the gift I was given. Ok I'm done. :P

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Looking forward ...
Wondering what life has planned.
My plans have not panned out the way I hoped.
So now,I have learned to just think good thoughts and pray for the best.
Letting go and letting God. 

Monday, July 19, 2010

Focus,spirituality,my future...

Many people ask me how do I seem to be writing strictly for them? How do I seem to be reading their minds? I'm not really. I just go through all the same ups and downs,revelations,mistakes,hopes and dreams like everyone else. I just do it publicly.Sometimes it's not a good idea,because people take my kindness for weakness,or somehow equate my honesty about my feelings with being a weak person. I am truly not weak. I have weathered many storms in my ALWAYS blessed and highly favored life. How can I say that I have been through storms and have been highly favored? It's my faith in GOD. I just keep believing in HIM and I seem to always win no matter what the situation is. There are many things that have yet to manifest in my life. I totally believe in the LAW of ATTRACTION and Deliberate Creating. I do my best to think positive as much as humanly possible. But of course we all face challenges in areas of our lives that cause monumental stress. I talk to GOD ALL DAY LONG. I promised HIM that I would do my best every day HE sends me,to walk by faith and not by sight. I promised HIM that I would from this day forward,promise to focus on getting healthier,raising my son the best I can,take good care of my mom,love and be here for my friends and family,fix my finances and continue to work hard to better my career so that I can retire in 12 years..

One thing that I spoke to GOD about,was that I have given up on love. The one thing that has eluded me my whole life. I mean I have been in love,but I mean the kind that I have written about and hoped for for as long as I can remember. It sounds negative...I know....But it's not really. There have been only a couple disppointments in my life that kinda hurt real bad..1..that my career hasn't taken off the way I had always hoped. But I have to say that I am very Grateful for how far I have gotten. I think I have done a good job in the last 19 years. 2...that I have never found THE ONE! I know I know....Im gonna get all kinds of letters saying I shouldnt give up,I chose the wrong men,GOD hasnt sent him to me yet,just wait,blah blah
I just want to express myself today. I'm DONE with that. I have been hurt so much that I dont have any TRY AGAIN left in my soul.
I wonder how this is going to affect my music,lyrically..I mean I guess I will always write about positive love.
One thing I really want you to know,is that I am still very happy. Even though I havent seen certain things come true in my life YET,I KNOW they will. My career will blossom even more,I will get a GRAMMY NOMINATION,I will get all of my finances straightened out,and I will raise Jazz to be a wonderful human being.(He's already great little boy),I will enjoy my life...go on a real vacation for once( to DUBAI or Monte Carlo),spend more time with my friends,going out to dinner, etc..
I just feel like I have to give up things that continuously hurt me,in order to really experience the true happiness I desire.
I'm at the beginning stages of it now. And it feels like I'm free. Yes I will still flirt and maybe even hang out if I meet someone cool,( I LOVE MEN..esp. ones with muscles..YUM) but I will not allow myself to fall in love ever again. Not interested in the mind games,drama and emotional baggage. Only want to be friends.
I AM NOT BEING NEGATIVE. This is a positive thing. Believe me.

One fun thing that I am focusing on is my 1971 Mach 1 Mustang that I am restoring!!
Its gonna take a while..Im sure its a little expensive,but i really enjoy looking for parts online!! I havent decided whether to restore it just for me and Jazz to drive around in or to the level of trying to take it to that big car auction.

Alright,I'm gonna go take a nap..take it easy everyone. I love you. It's all good!!

Thursday, January 21, 2010


New decade..New goals..New life.
I just want to be happy and will pursue it with all my heart.
Brand new Cd.A Woman in Love,out January 26,2010..I believe this will be my biggest record yet.

Friday, October 31, 2008


What's up y'all..long time, no diary...
I am sitting in my bedroom trying to memorize these Rufus songs I am singing with them in Japan next week. I am not retaining lyrics like I used to..I guess I'm getting old!
I was just chillin' and I realized something. I don't yearn for,think about,wonder about,or try to figure out my ex-boyfriend anymore. I just realized that I wasted 9 months crying and being depressed,and now I don't feel anything. I mean I hope he's happy,but I don't have that desire or longing in my heart for him anymore,but I'm still a romantic at heart and I can hardly wait for my Prince to show up whoever he is. I will always pray for him,and I will continue to be happy with my life until he comes. It felt like it took forever for me to get over my ex. But thank GOD I'm here! And I am looking for a new love...whooo-hooo!!!

It made me feel so good!!
I had to vote early because I am going to California to rehearse with Rufus.
Isn't that wild?? I am singing with my favorite band from my childhood!! WHAT THE HECK??
I hope they dont expect me to try to sing like Chaka...she is the EVERLASTING QUEEN of JAZZ-FUNK..I'm just trying to help out,and I will be MAYSASIZING the songs I
Alright I gotta go back to memorizing....'I'm a woman..and i'm a backbone..!!
See ya!!
Oh!! I hope I get back to number one on the Billboard Contemporary Jazz Charts!!(we r number 2 this week) And climb the R&B charts again..this week I fell all the way to 40 but at least Im still TOP 40 on Billboard!!!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Weary...but holding knowing...

Hey y'all..

I'm sitting here in Los Angeles at a hotel,waiting to leave to go to Jakarta tomorrow to sing with Jeff Lorber,Najee and probably Incognito.

My life,for the last month or so has been absolutely crazy.

I mean thank God everyone is still alive and well,God knows I am grateful for that.

But ever since I made my dream board,it seems like a hurricane has entered my world.

I feel like I am seriously in a coccoon,growing,changimg,truly metamorphosizing.

Maybe God put the idea for Metamorphosis so strongly in my spirit because He knew I was going to be in this place at this time.

I talked with Him today. I sat in this room,sometimes in the dark,so I could be open to hear what He is trying to tell me. I meditated,I cried,I slept,and I asked God why was I here alone? Usually I would have my friends with me,my ex-boyfriend would have been with me possibly,but now I am in this room trying to figure out why I feel so sad.These people who would be with me ,we aren't even speaking right now.

I won't get into why,but they hurt me real bad,and I am just moving on.Actually,I'm ok with it. Looking forward to my life which starts every morning when I wake up.

I have some of my best friends here in LA,I have hung out a little with them,but today I could,wouldnt let them see me this way. I wanted to spare them the look on my face that is getting harder and harder to hide.

I am blessed, I know. I have a career that still,after 17 years,has the potential to grow beyond my dreams at any minute.I have been able to take care of my family with my voice. That is huge! How blessed I am. I know that big break I have been waiting for could be around the corner,and I know I have to hang on and believe and have faith.

But I am so tired.

I was dreading the 21 hour flight I have to take tomorrow,but then it came to me..

I am flying to a beautiful tropical paradise. Flying in style,getting PAID,and singimng to people who have survived a horrible tragedy. I am honored to be able to sing to everyone who comes to the festival. I am grateful GOD. 21 hours? Whateva.

I miss my family. Jazz wants me to come back home. But i gotta do this. I am an independent woman. I promised my father I would take over for him as much as I could.

I just want to travel safely and get home.


I am truly changing. The weight loss has been slow. I am told I am not eating enough food. But I dont have an appetite. Today I ate some mixed nuts and salad and some water. Feel a little hungry right now. Gotta get used to eating 5 small meals a day. Jump start my metabolism,time to melt down.

Met someone new. Someone who appreciates my music.  Made a connection.Almost magical one. A spiritual one. He's a nice man.

Meeting Jill Scott...

Was great. She gave a fantastic show,and showed me so much love when I went to meet her after. Made me feel great because she showed me genuine love between musical sisters.

Don't get that too much. A lot of jealousy and backstabbing I have experienced.

To my friends who have helped me through the last few months. I love you. To the people who walked out of my life. Thank you. I still love you.

See ya later y'all..

Talk to u from Jakarta.