First of all..LALAH SANG HER ASS OFF..on the new EWF Interpretations CD...I play it over and over...damn that girls voice is amazing.And her production of the song is off the chain...
Now to the diary...
hey family,(ignore typos..don't feel like dealing..LOL)
i just wanted to say hello,and Happy Easter.I really have a lot on my mind,and i'm trying to get a grip on my life right now.trying to figure a new direction. i'm focused first and foremost on my metamorphosis..i joined weight watchers on Thursday,and I mapped out 2 miles near my house to run/jog /walk everyday. I will alsoi be going to my trainer three days a week. I don't really want to think about what I'm going to eat ,so i bought $100 dollars worth of weight watchers meals at the market today..normally I have talked myself out of counting points,but i am more determined than ever to change my appearance and maintain my healthy status. I want to stay healthy for the rest of my life if I can,so I am starting with my mind.
It's been hard to ease my mind since I broke up with my boyfriend. I really thought I was done with my search,but you know I am a woman who can easily adapt to any situation.
I have done it before and I'll do it again. But this time..for some
reason,I can't get him out of my mind.
and it hits me in waves...like for instance,I'll be fine all day long and one thought,or if I see something he likes or if I hear something that reminds me of him,my heart sinks,and I feel sick.
I don't remember feeling this way about any other man I have been with.
I think most of the problem with me having a hard time dealing with it is
because I know I didn't do anything wrong to bring us to this situation..(I never do...sorry if that sounds egotistical,but the truth is I am quite a catch!!!! HAHAHA,talk that shit Maysa!) He told me he loved me
constantly,we were always laughing and we were just happy.I baked him Chocolate Cake, Apple and Cherry pies..even though I still think he thinks my mom made 'em!
I believed he loved me. He sure made me feel it.Used to tell me I was beautiful all the time. Wow..I miss him!! LOL
He was a sweet and gentle giant,strong ,responsible and
made me feel like I was safe all the time.Even when he wasn't around.He's
a wonderful man.Yeah,he is.
But life throws curve balls and I don't understand it.(I can't explain
I mean I asked GOD,why would you show him to me if you weren't gonna let
him stay here?
My happiness was so strong,it surprised me!
My whole family..friends,band members..everyone was so excited for us.
Oh boy..I though writing it out would make me feel better,but It's not right now..
but let me say this..it's strange though....as sad as I am about us not being together,I am surprisingly excited about being free to meet other men too. Is that normal? To me it doesn't mean that I didn't love him strong..I mean I had to ask myself that question over and over.I guess my spiritual belief is that GOD and the universe will send me someone else to make me feel as good as he did or better..I deserve the happiness I was feeling,because I have been good. ;) Love will come around again..right Prince Charming??? Huh?? Huh??? I'm still waiting on ya big boy..:)
I have decided to deal with it by working harder,spending a lot more time with my son and my mom,and trying to find ways to make money, and to change myself so I can wear all the lovely clothes I bought for when "that day" comes...I am so looking forward to the first photo session and gig after my metamorphosis..
Change of subject...
I have been doing some great gigs lately,one of which was the Angela Bofill benefit concert in Detroit.
I was a nervous wreck...especially when I did Angel of The Night..she was right on stage when we started that!
She was so sweet though,and I really hope she gets beter and better every day.
I have been working with Grammy award winning producer Jason Miles,doing some gigs with him called Soul Summitt,and some Marvin Gaye Tribute concerts..I am going to Morrocco with him in about 10 days..It's gonna be fun..(i'm singing I want You,and What A Man,and some other soul songs..like I have Learned To Live Without You,by Mavis Staples...(How appropriate!) I was feeling that tune!!!!
I finally got to South Carolina..I did a gig in Columbia with Marion
Meadows and Pamela Williams..I enjoyed myself..the audience was off the hook..thanks for the warm welcome Columbia..now I gotta come back there with my band and get to Charlotte too..!!
I am also excited about The Canadian Smooth Jazz Awards on April 27,2007.
I was nominated International VOcalist of The Year along with Al Jarreau!!!! Corine Bailey Rae,Michael Franks,and David Pack. I am so excited!! It's so wonderful to know that when I was 12 my uncle turned me on to Al Jarreau and he is the VERY reason I wanted to sing Jazz and to scat!! I listened to him before I got into Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah
Vaughn.. so to be in the same catagory as him is wild! Troy told me to write a speech..(yeah whateva!) I am presenting two awards and performing Hypnotic Love..should be alot of fun.I can hardly wait!
well dahlin's I am off to walk on the treadmill..I'm gonna listen to my new CD Feel The Fire: Sweet Classic SOul Vol. 2. This is my last CD for Shanachie..just these two special projects was all I was to do for them.
I am having a very difficult time with the record company about the cover photos..I took them myself and I love them. I wanted to do something that is more in my true character..I'm tired of the super posed "pretty pictures"..I wanted to express myself like in the '70's when they used to make some wildly sexy covers...I remember when we couldn't waitto see what The Ohio Players were gonna do next! It was such a big deal then...Believe me..I had a picture of my "girls",LOL but I knew the company would have had a heart attack!the kids have seen much worse on MTV all these years.. a damn lollipop isn't gonna hurt nobody.
This is my last '70's cover record though..if I cover anything else it will be Christmas Songs and Jazz Standards..
As a matter of fact,I really want to do a Christmas CD soon..maybe this year I will get one out..
But my main CD for early 2008 is METAMORPHOSIS...I can't wait. The writing I am doing for it is so sexy and organic,and spiritual all at the same time. More raw vocals..not so produced,but slick..I am looking forward to seeing who will help me produce this one. I love working with Rex,and Big Dog and Bluey,and I am excited to see who else will bring out the true Leo the lion in me!!
Going back to Feel The Fire..
Here is the track listing...(yes I gave it to TerrAnce early because he actually is my very first cuzzin! (if I am wrong email me!) but I met TerrAnce in 1995 when I was performing at The Red Mill in in Milwaukee..at one of the first solo gigs I had ever done..)
And he drove all the way from Charlotte and helped me sell cd's..
But ALLLLLLL of you mean the world to me and I appreciate you all the same.Please understand that. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for my career.
Anyway..I'm delaying what I must do.Gotta go walk/run/jog my way to a new me..and literally count(points) my ass off!( I got side tracked in the middle of Jan. when all this man stuff started..so I haven't lost 2 ounces since then..hahaha.)
Then I'm gonna go find one of my male friends and get me a big ole manly hug. I really need one today. ;) and tomorrow too!..shoot everyday! yummmm!