Focus,spirituality,my future...

Many people ask me how do I seem to be writing strictly for them? How do I seem to be reading their minds? I'm not really. I just go through all the same ups and downs,revelations,mistakes,hopes and dreams like everyone else. I just do it publicly.Sometimes it's not a good idea,because people take my kindness for weakness,or somehow equate my honesty about my feelings with being a weak person. I am truly not weak. I have weathered many storms in my ALWAYS blessed and highly favored life. How can I say that I have been through storms and have been highly favored? It's my faith in GOD. I just keep believing in HIM and I seem to always win no matter what the situation is. There are many things that have yet to manifest in my life. I totally believe in the LAW of ATTRACTION and Deliberate Creating. I do my best to think positive as much as humanly possible. But of course we all face challenges in areas of our lives that cause monumental stress. I talk to GOD ALL DAY LONG. I promised HIM that I would do my best every day HE sends me,to walk by faith and not by sight. I promised HIM that I would from this day forward,promise to focus on getting healthier,raising my son the best I can,take good care of my mom,love and be here for my friends and family,fix my finances and continue to work hard to better my career so that I can retire in 12 years..

One thing that I spoke to GOD about,was that I have given up on love. The one thing that has eluded me my whole life. I mean I have been in love,but I mean the kind that I have written about and hoped for for as long as I can remember. It sounds negative...I know....But it's not really. There have been only a couple disppointments in my life that kinda hurt real bad..1..that my career hasn't taken off the way I had always hoped. But I have to say that I am very Grateful for how far I have gotten. I think I have done a good job in the last 19 years. 2...that I have never found THE ONE! I know I know....Im gonna get all kinds of letters saying I shouldnt give up,I chose the wrong men,GOD hasnt sent him to me yet,just wait,blah blah blah...lol.
I just want to express myself today. I'm DONE with that. I have been hurt so much that I dont have any TRY AGAIN left in my soul.
I wonder how this is going to affect my music,lyrically..I mean I guess I will always write about positive love.
One thing I really want you to know,is that I am still very happy. Even though I havent seen certain things come true in my life YET,I KNOW they will. My career will blossom even more,I will get a GRAMMY NOMINATION,I will get all of my finances straightened out,and I will raise Jazz to be a wonderful human being.(He's already great little boy),I will enjoy my life...go on a real vacation for once( to DUBAI or Monte Carlo),spend more time with my friends,going out to dinner, etc..
I just feel like I have to give up things that continuously hurt me,in order to really experience the true happiness I desire.
I'm at the beginning stages of it now. And it feels like I'm free. Yes I will still flirt and maybe even hang out if I meet someone cool,( I LOVE MEN..esp. ones with muscles..YUM) but I will not allow myself to fall in love ever again. Not interested in the mind games,drama and emotional baggage. Only want to be friends.
I AM NOT BEING NEGATIVE. This is a positive thing. Believe me.

One fun thing that I am focusing on is my 1971 Mach 1 Mustang that I am restoring!!
Its gonna take a while..Im sure its a little expensive,but i really enjoy looking for parts online!! I havent decided whether to restore it just for me and Jazz to drive around in or to the level of trying to take it to that big car auction.

Alright,I'm gonna go take a nap..take it easy everyone. I love you. It's all good!!
MAYSA

2010

New decade..New goals..New life.
I just want to be happy and will pursue it with all my heart.
Brand new Cd.A Woman in Love,out January 26,2010..I believe this will be my biggest record yet.

LIFE....

What's up y'all..long time, no diary...
I am sitting in my bedroom trying to memorize these Rufus songs I am singing with them in Japan next week. I am not retaining lyrics like I used to..I guess I'm getting old!
I was just chillin' and I realized something. I don't yearn for,think about,wonder about,or try to figure out my ex-boyfriend anymore. I just realized that I wasted 9 months crying and being depressed,and now I don't feel anything. I mean I hope he's happy,but I don't have that desire or longing in my heart for him anymore,but I'm still a romantic at heart and I can hardly wait for my Prince to show up whoever he is. I will always pray for him,and I will continue to be happy with my life until he comes. It felt like it took forever for me to get over my ex. But thank GOD I'm here! And I am looking for a new love...whooo-hooo!!!

I VOTED FOR OUR NEW PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!
It made me feel so good!!
I had to vote early because I am going to California to rehearse with Rufus.
Isn't that wild?? I am singing with my favorite band from my childhood!! WHAT THE HECK??
I hope they dont expect me to try to sing like Chaka...she is the EVERLASTING QUEEN of JAZZ-FUNK..I'm just trying to help out,and I will be MAYSASIZING the songs I sing...lol
Alright I gotta go back to memorizing....'I'm a woman..and i'm a backbone..!!
See ya!!
Maysa
Oh!! I hope I get back to number one on the Billboard Contemporary Jazz Charts!!(we r number 2 this week) And climb the R&B charts again..this week I fell all the way to 40 but at least Im still TOP 40 on Billboard!!!

Weary...but holding on..faith... knowing...

Hey y'all..

I'm sitting here in Los Angeles at a hotel,waiting to leave to go to Jakarta tomorrow to sing with Jeff Lorber,Najee and probably Incognito.

My life,for the last month or so has been absolutely crazy.

I mean thank God everyone is still alive and well,God knows I am grateful for that.

But ever since I made my dream board,it seems like a hurricane has entered my world.

I feel like I am seriously in a coccoon,growing,changimg,truly metamorphosizing.

Maybe God put the idea for Metamorphosis so strongly in my spirit because He knew I was going to be in this place at this time.

I talked with Him today. I sat in this room,sometimes in the dark,so I could be open to hear what He is trying to tell me. I meditated,I cried,I slept,and I asked God why was I here alone? Usually I would have my friends with me,my ex-boyfriend would have been with me possibly,but now I am in this room trying to figure out why I feel so sad.These people who would be with me ,we aren't even speaking right now.

I won't get into why,but they hurt me real bad,and I am just moving on.Actually,I'm ok with it. Looking forward to my life which starts every morning when I wake up.

I have some of my best friends here in LA,I have hung out a little with them,but today I could,wouldnt let them see me this way. I wanted to spare them the look on my face that is getting harder and harder to hide.

I am blessed, I know. I have a career that still,after 17 years,has the potential to grow beyond my dreams at any minute.I have been able to take care of my family with my voice. That is huge! How blessed I am. I know that big break I have been waiting for could be around the corner,and I know I have to hang on and believe and have faith.

But I am so tired.

I was dreading the 21 hour flight I have to take tomorrow,but then it came to me..

I am flying to a beautiful tropical paradise. Flying in style,getting PAID,and singimng to people who have survived a horrible tragedy. I am honored to be able to sing to everyone who comes to the festival. I am grateful GOD. 21 hours? Whateva.

I miss my family. Jazz wants me to come back home. But i gotta do this. I am an independent woman. I promised my father I would take over for him as much as I could.

I just want to travel safely and get home.

METAMORPHOSIS.

I am truly changing. The weight loss has been slow. I am told I am not eating enough food. But I dont have an appetite. Today I ate some mixed nuts and salad and some water. Feel a little hungry right now. Gotta get used to eating 5 small meals a day. Jump start my metabolism,time to melt down.

Met someone new. Someone who appreciates my music.  Made a connection.Almost magical one. A spiritual one. He's a nice man.

Meeting Jill Scott...

Was great. She gave a fantastic show,and showed me so much love when I went to meet her after. Made me feel great because she showed me genuine love between musical sisters.

Don't get that too much. A lot of jealousy and backstabbing I have experienced.

To my friends who have helped me through the last few months. I love you. To the people who walked out of my life. Thank you. I still love you.

See ya later y'all..

Talk to u from Jakarta.

Maysa

FAMILY,FAMILY,FAMILY..
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE IT'S A TRIP.
MOSTLY GOOD STUFF..SOME STUFF I WISH WOULD JUST GO AWAY,BUT THAT'S THE YOUNG GIRL IN ME TALKING.
I JUST LEFT L.A. I RECORDED A SONG CALLED THERE FOR YOU FOR WWW.LINCOLNLOUNGE.COM.

THE FAMOUS DRUMMER/PERCUSSIONIST HARVEY MASON PRODUCED IT AND HIS FAMOUS SONGWRITING/PRODUCING SON HARVEY MASON JR. MIXED IT.
YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW THAT HARVEY MASON JR. IS PART OF "THE UNDERDOGS" TEAM WHO WRITES AND PRODUCES SO MANY OF TODAY'S HIP YOUNG R&B STARS,IT'S UNREAL.

SO TO SAY THE LEAST ,GETTING A CHANCE TO EVEN WALK IN THEIR STUDIOS WAS AMAZING TO MY NEICES AND NEPHEW WHO TRIPPED WHEN I TOLD THEM WHO I WAS WORKING WITH..ALSO A SMOOTH JAZZ ARTISTS BUDGET WOULDNT EVEN PAY FOR A WEEK OF LUNCH IN THAT JOINT,LET ALONE GETTING A SONG PRODUCED BY THEM!
SO IT WAS ALOT OF FUN..

THE SONG IS A MIX OF CLUB,HIP-HOP,MY OLDER SOUNDING VOICE,SO IT'S INTERESTING HOW IT WILL BE RECIEVED..HOPEFULLY THE KIDS WILL LIKE IT AND Y'ALL OLD ASSES WILL LIKE IT TOO!! LMAO LINCOLN HAS A SLICK WEBSITE GOING ON..I LIKE IT ALOT.

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT I REALLY GOT A FEEL FOR L.A. AGAIN.MY BOYFRIEND WENT WITH ME.YES....HELL TO THE YES...I SAID BOYFRIEND CHILE' HOLD THE PHONE!!

MORE ABOUT HIM LATER...
 BEING IN L.A. IS SO FUN..I WISH I COULD AFFORD TO LIVE OUT THERE FOR A WHILE..MAYBE I WILL DO THAT THIS SUMMER..SAVE MY PENNIES AND TRY TO GET AS MUCH WORK DONE AS I CAN WHILE I'M OUT THERE...

CHANGING THE SUBJECT SLIGHTLY BECAUSE THIS JUST CAME TO MY MIND, I WAS WALKING WITH MY MAN..HE'S REALLY HANDSOME,AND WOMEN JUST GRINNED ALL UP IN HIS FACE LIKE I WASN'T STANDING THERE HOLDING HIS HAND!!

I HAVEN'T HAD A MAN IN SO LONG I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT SH*T. WHEN IT HAPPENED WE JUST LAUGHED IT OFF,BUT IT DID PISS ME OFF.
LADIES,THATS' COLD, SMILING AT HIM AND LOOKING AT ME WITH GREEN EYES...

ANYWAY,OTHER THAN THAT WE HAD A GREAT TIME..WE DID A LITTLE PROMOTIONAL MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I AM SECRETLY DREADING SINCE I AM NOT EXACTLY VIDEO MATERIAL RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE...(I NOT TRIPPIN JUST STATING THE FACTS YA'LL..) "T"(MY HONEY) WAS IN IT,THE DIRECTOR DABLING HARWARD,DID SUCH A GREAT JOB WITH HOWARD HEWITT AND KENNY LATIMORE'S, I HOPE HE CAN WORK A MIRACLE FOR A SISTA.

MY SHOWS AT BLUES ALLEY HAVE BEEN MOVED TO JULY..THIS WAS A DECISION MADE BY THE CLUB,SORRY IF ANYONE WAS INCONVIENIENCED(sp).BUT THE GOOD THING IS THAT I HAD METAMORPHOSIZED YET SO THIS GIVES ME 8 MORE MONTHS TO DO SOMETHING AND STOP B.S.-ING.

AT THESE SHOWS LAST YEAR I TOLD EVERYONE I WOULD COME BACK METMORPHOSIZED,AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A SHAME TO SHOW UP ONLY HAVING LOST 7LBS. LOL

HEY I GOTTA FINISH THIS DIARY LATER BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRPORT AGAIN TO GO TO BOSTON FOR A JOB INTERVIEW. I WILL TELL YOU HOW IT GOES IN PART TWO,PLUS I WILL TELL YOU HOW THINGS WENT WHEN I RECORDED IN LONDON LAST WEEK WITH BLUEY...

JAZZ WENT TO SCHOOL AS AN AIRLINE PILOT FOR HALLOWEEN..ISNT HE A CUTIE!

PLUS I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE CAPITAL JAZZ FEST CRUISE AND SHOW YOU PICTURES..HERE'S A FEW!

 

MAYSA LIVE

 

HEY FAMILY..

WORDS CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW OVERWHELMED I AM WITH THE RECORDING AT THE BIRCHMERE LAST WEEKEND,AND HOW YOU ALL RECIEVED US..YOU MADE US FEEL LIKE SUPERSTARS!!

MY BAND WAS OFF THE HOOK COMPLETELY,AND I AM SO PROUD OF THEM.

TO TY,BERNIE AND TROY ,WANDA TAMMY,NITA NICKA,TODD,MOMMY..EVERYBODY WHO HELPED ME PLAN AND EXECUTE THE WHOLE THING..THE SOUND COMPANY AND ENGINEERS..

WAYNE BRUCE,MY MUSIC DIRECTOR...WOW YOU REALLY DID IT HONEY..THANK YOU SO MUCH..

I'M WORN OUT..BUT I WILL COME BACK AND DO A BETTER DIARY LATER..

I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH .,THANK YOU!

MAYSA

Weight Watchers,Canada,Underground Divas..

Hey y'all..

I'm sitting here at home at 12:07 am,Thursday,May 10,2007.

I just came from The Giant Supermarket and I bought a freezer full of Smart Ones(tm) from Weight Watchers.

I am trying to get my ass in gear for my metamorphosis..dammit I was supposed to start in January after Blues Alley,then I got blindsided by work and man stuff,and I am just really focused TODAY..I started my two mile walk around my neighborhood on Monday..didn't do squat Tuesday and today,but I'm gonn get my hips up at 6am(less than 6 hours from now) and WALK WALK WALK....my mom is doing it with me,shes already lost 14 pounds in the last two weeks and she hasnt even started exercising yet.

I am going to St.Lucia to sing at the Jazz Fest, I am filling in for my buddy Will Downing,who is recovering from being sick since January...(he tells his story on his website..) He's such a strong man,I am praying for him.

I leave at 5 am on Friday Morning,and then I get back on Mothers Day at 6:30 pm..and my mom is cooking a crazy meal of Seafood Salad,Crabcakes,Spareribs(oh my gosh Jazz devours Spareribs!! I wish I could get a picture of him..y'all would crack up!)..and goodness knows what else..so we are taking that day off the diet ,but come Monday morning,I am back on schedule.

 

So my routine is basically..

-Walking every morning for 45 minutes which is 2 miles (for me)..I'll cut the time down soon)

-Weight Training with my personal trainer at his gym in Security Mall (Charles Harris III is his name),three days a week.

When I am on the road I will walk the stairs in the hotel for thirty minutes and /or go to the gym if they have one. Or go for a walk around the hotel.

I time myself by my new CD which is about 50 minutes long..

-My Maysa Menu

* Breakfast- What ever I want within 10 points.

* snack-fruit/yogurt (count the points)

*Lunch- Smart Ones meal

*snack-??? within my daily points

*Dinner-Smart Ones meal

-Drink alot of water

-Pray that I will stick to this this time.Please GOD help me.  :)

 

I'm sorry I'm such a punk and refuse to tell you how much I weigh today,but I will admit that as of today ,May 10,2007. I have 95 pounds to lose.

 

I'm trying to get  the new site up as soon as possible,so that we can publicly show you all my progress...

Oh I haven't told you guys about the Canadian Smooth Jazz Awards..I had a great time ,and I did a pretty good job as a presenter I think. Troy, went with me,and as a director,he said I did good. and believe me ,he doesnt hold back when he thinks he can help you improve!

Al Jarreau won in my category,but I wasn't mad..it's like losing an award to your teacher! It's all good.

Troy took most of the pictures..but I did get some cool ones of the hotel we stayed in for the Jam Sessions the next night ..very nice!

I like Toronto..hey,BRUCE??? What happened to you?Dag..

 

Oh well dahlin's..I'll add some more tomorrow..I gotta tell you about my first REVENGE OF THE UNDERGROUND DIVAS CONCERT!

The inaugural concert unfortunately is a private gig,but hopefully it will lead to something big!

This flyer is an unofficial idea. And I probably shouldn't put it out there yet..but I want y'all to see what's going on..ya dig??

Love ya, I'm sleepy. 'Night.

Maysa