Sunday, November 7, 2004

All I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A HUSBAND....R rated diary..For Entertainment Purposes only..

Hey y'all..This is a I Want My Husband diary,so if you don't want to read this or you are under 16,go here.....http://www.nickjr.com..LOL...

Well ...I am doing some housework tonight since I won't be home for a while after Tuesday.My schedule is so crazy,but I don't mind too much other than the fact I'll be away from my family.That's the hard part about life on the road.But I gotta work and I want to work ,so off to work I go.We are remodeling the house and the new kitchen is coming together nicely.It should be all done when I get home..Yippee...
I'm looking forward to SOB's on Wednesday.I haven't done my own show in New York in over 5 years.I think SOB's was the last place I did a show there.


I started to tell you about a man I met,but that whole thing had to be squashed for many reasons,I can't really get into  it right now..too much confusion,and one thing I know,is that love should be easy even at the lust stage..lol...Not confusing and a guess as to what is happening from one minute to the next...so I'm sorry for even saying anything,but I was really feeling him that night,and you know how emotional I am.I just wanted to share...I haven't really written too much about my "missing husband" in the last year,because I had kind of given up on finding him.For a while,I thought I was content not having anyone in my life,but ever since I really started losing weight again,(I've lost 16 pounds since September),it seems that with every pound I lose, I gain 5 pounds of confidence,and my hormone levels must be jumping!! oooohh.Maysa is on FIRE!!


Plus I am really KNOWING what I want from a relationship now.
I know that all the little dumb games that used to go on in the past are not welcome in my psyche anymore.I have no tolerance for stupid shit,so whoever he is,I pray he is mature and knows what he wants also...
I was having a chat with one of my friends today and I was telling her that I will never again,I don't care how sexy,charming or sweet a man is to me,I will never let another man make me deny my instincts again.


I am refering to an old boyfriend who was cheating on me,but told me I was crazy,insane,trippin,and delusional,when he knew full well he was seeing someone else.What I was trying to explain to her is that when a person will lie to the point that he/she makes you deny your instincts,knowing full well that they are lying..they are to me committing an act of evilness.In my humble opinion,one of our most beautiful human connections to GOD or the Universe or The Source ,is our instincts.I believe that The Source speaks to us and guides us all day and all night,and when someone tells you that you are wrong for believing what you feel inside,or tells you to believe the lie they are telling you and not the truth you know is reality,then THAT TO ME IS EVIL. I can understand some circumstances that warrant a small untruth,but when a person is constantly asking you to tell them the truth and you tell them they are crazy instead,there's something wrong with that.

I just said all of that because I felt someone needed to hear it..

I don't really want to talk about that...I really want to talk about that sexy ass man I saw at the paint store. tonight.Y'all he was so fine I wanted to scream. I actually bought some paint I don't even need right now just to look at him.He is so masculine and handsome...he was working so hard I thought I would melt.Yeah, hardworking men turn me on.Men who are focused make me turn into jello in their presence.

(Speaking of hardworking men,The Baltimore Ravens( I'm watching the game against Cleveland) are looking yummy in those Black uniforms....ohh lalala....LOL.. What the heck am I doing on this computer..I should be at the game.Hummm..68,000 people,most of them men!! What the heck? LOL)

Anyway,the paint shop guy may not be the one and/or he might be one of those men who may try to make me deny my instincts one day,but damn if I don't want too see for myself!!!Cause, good golly miss molly,the brother had it going on..WHEW!! ....be still my aching heart.

I just know now,that if I feel like something is going on,i'll just talk to the man about it..and if he lies and I find out he was lying,I'll just let him go...that's why I believe that people should always be self-reliant in relationships,so that no one is dependent on someone financially so that if the shit hits the fan you don't have to put up with bull because you can't take care of yourself...(I know it's hard out here with two salaries,let alone one,it's a constant struggle) ...both my mommy and daddy taught me that at an early age. Which is why my booty is off to work next week. ( I am grateful for the work Lord,thank you Father).

So anyway...if I wasn't such a chicken,I would have said something to that paint man,(yes, I am still talking about him)at least to find  out if he is married or has a girlfriend,but I am so old school,I couldn't get up the nerve to rap to the man...LOL. Maybe I'll give my confidence level time to grow more and take my tail back up there and speak my mind.:) I am too damn near 40 years old to be like this.Shouldn't I at least be able to flirt? I feel like I'm still 16 years old,scared to talk to a man...Boy oh boy..Well I did make him look for a paint color they didnt even sell..I knew that I saw that color in Lowe's..hahahaha..I just wanted to speak to him. He knew the color wasn't there,but he tried to make up the color for me..isn't that sweet?!!LOL

Next time I'm gonna ask him if they have Butterball Turkey Brown...HAHAHA.That should take a while to mix up....LOL..(Y'all probably think I'm crazy by now)...

You know what?One thing I have learned about myself is that I want to be able to choose my man.All of my relationships have been with men who have chosen me.Is that deep or what?But maybe my husband probably has been in front of my face,but may be too scared to say anything to  me.(if that is the case...MAN UP HONEY,SHOULDERS BACK, HEAD UP TALL ,AND STEP TO ME RIGHT NOW! DON'T BE SCARED!!) LOLOLOL...

But until then,I guess I will be buying alot of paint! Anybody need some paint??I'll get some for you... LOL LOL.....Shoot, I'mma paint every room in this house!!! Two times! HE IS THAT FINE.MAKE ME WANT TO LOSE MY MIND!! LOL


It must be my season for new men in my life,I have been waiting so long for the "right" one to enter my world and sweep me off myfeet.This summer,I  met quite a few ,but nothing has developed from these meetings yet.
My ex-boyfriend told me that he sees a different kind of light illuminating from my spirit..I guess my mating call is in hyperdrive!
Cause I AM READY!!! I know that I may still be in fantasy mode regarding falling in love and having a man LOVE ME.Somebody told me this summer "DONT BELIEVE THE HYPE ,STAY SINGLE"..but I want some muscles to hold on to ya know what I mean? I'm a little tired of my pillow holding me at night.Ladies,can I get an Amen?I still want the fairy tale.At least for as long as I can have it.


I really want to feel that sensation again,but for now, I'll just have to hold on to my dreams as long as I can.What other choice do I have.( Naw,no thanks...with all due respect...naw..LOL)


Don't worry ya'll.Please don't send me no poor Maysa,'she don't have a man yet,just stop looking and he will arrive' e-mails, I am not desperate,I am in ATTRACTION MODE.I am feeling this man more than I ever have before ,so I know he's close,I'm just speaking him into existence...ya dig? I ain't sad ,I am happy at the thought of him and me..us...wow...imagine me running around the back yard with my hands in the air..screaming .."my husband is coming my husband is coming!"That's how excited I am!
HAHAHAHAHAHA....whooo....I guess I have talked enough shit tonight...

For Japan,I have packed all of my movies and exercise DVD's,my Gamecube,my laptop,books,My Sims 2 game....I should not get bored during the day in Japan,or at night when I can't sleep.Japan is a great country,but the television in the hotels is terrible.Only English is CNN or Headline news ALL DAY AND NIGHT.Sometimes you get lucky and see some old boring ass American movie with Japanese subtitles.."Lost in Translation "captured the way I feel in Japan perfectly.I love that movie..

Milan should be fun next weekend.I haven't been to Italy in a while so I may treat myself to some Spaghetti Carbonara!! YUMMMM!! My favorite Italian food next to Chicken Parmesean...

Then  I come back home to do the March of Dimes' Prematurity Month kickoff...I was told that Gelman ,the producer from Regis and Kelly is going to be there,and someone from the show Charmed...
The info on that is on the touring page...

Well you all,I guess thats all fornow..Oh ! Jazzie started preshcool this week and he loves it! The first day was a bit of a challenge since he wasn't used to getting up so early,so once we get him on a schedule he'll be okay...
My baby is growing up y'all! I am so proud of him..I have to admit though,I am a little nervous about going back to Osaka.Even though I am not pregnant this time (THANK GOD!),I still feel weird about it...Just the idea of returing to the same hotel,the same stage,whoo boy...I'm getting chills.I hopeI don't have an anxiety attack when we get there!


I'll be speaking to y'all from the road!!
Be Blessed and CHOOSE HAPPINESS AND HAPPINESS WILL CHOOSE YOU.TRY IT....It really does work.
I love ya.
Maysa

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

THE REVENGE OF THE UNDERGROUND DIVAS

Hey cuzzinz...

I am proud to present some really cool pictures of  the photo session after the Madison Square Garden gig...

All night long, photographers were asking me and Ledisi and Lalah to take pictures together..that's how I knew that the "Divas" shows are going to be off the hook!

And we were all so thrilled to take a picture with one of THE GRAND DIVA'S..PATTI LABELLE!!!!

She told the three of us that we were THE FUTURE and that we would carry the torch of real singers.... That was unreal!

So PATTI,GLADYS,CHAKA,PHYLLIS,....AND THE LIST GOES ON...

THE UNDERGROUND DIVAS ARE ON THE WAY,TO PAY TRIBUTE AND SHOW LOVE TO  THE REAL SINGER/SONGWRITERS/MUSICIANS OF THE WORLD.......

I HAVE MORE TO SAY BUT NEED TO CLEAN UP MY BEDROOM...

BE BACK LATER..

DID YOU VOTE? I DID!