Please join me at Blues Alley in Washington ,DC on January 19-22 for a listen to material from my new CD -Sweet Classic Soul.
We will be playing new music from my older Cds as well...
Tickets are now on sale...
Just feeling weird sitting in this hotel in London.
I love it here,but i always get this deeply lonely feeling.
I guess I just miss my family.I miss my Jazzie.
It's hard being on the road and away from him.
I'm gonna take him with me during the summer.
Wish I could afford to have him tutored on the road,but he needs the experience and stability of going to a real school,plus thank God he has his grandma.
I am so grateful to God for sending me Laura Leak.Y'all don't know how much I love my mommy.
She is the most beautiful most awesome, strongest ,most loving, human being on earth.
I'm a lucky woman.I hope Jazzie,and any future babies I have feel the same way about me.
It's 6:34 am..I'm going back to sleep and dream about my husband who doesnt exist yet but will one day..hahahaha.
Me and my (newest) producer Chris "BIG DOG" Davis,just left the studio tonight smiling brightly!! We are done! Well I am anyway,he still has some work to do.
I am so excited about this record I want to tell you all about it but it's too soon!
It will be released some time in January..you are going to love it,I just KNOW it!
Thanks to Danny Weiss at Shanachie,Chris,Wayne Bruce of Spur of the Moment..who by the way have a killer record coming out soon too),Angela Phillips,Lori and Vanessa Williams and Issac___) sang their asses off on this record! Thank you all so much...and all of the other musicians,the engineers at Night Flight Studios in Fort Washington, Maryland, my attorney Evan Krauss,my manager Berenice,and 2 of my best friends Troy Burton,and Mike White,who all helped me get through these 7 days of recordings with a bad throat..the encouragement helped alot...To my mommy and my son...LOLOLOL...
Dag, I sound like I'm giving an acceptance speech..FORESIGHT BABY!!
2006 is brighter than a mother shut yo mouth!!
I'mma tell you one thing..when my "husband' hears this record..he is coming to rescue me do you hear me!!
I have 4 nights at Blues Alley lined up for January 19-22 and I swear I wish I could do a single males only show! Just one show dedicated to some sweet single men out there...huh?? there's only 3 left?? Aww damn! HAHAHAHA..
Seriously,this is my mackin' record fo real!!
Actually Im going to dedicate it to all of my sistas out there who want to pull some brothas...this record,a sexy nightie,and CHOCOLATE, strawberries,whipped cream,baby oil..oops!
Anyway y'all get me ,don't you ladies!!!!
Yeah boy,the brothas wont be able to resist...
Blues Alley will be off the hinges I promise..Adults Only!!
here are some pictures from Germany..they made a DVD..it looked wonderful,but my voice is still screwed a little..everyone else sounded great.
I'm a little sad today,but i'll get over it..I'm gonna treat Jazzie to a really nice swing set (he knows its an early birthday gift).I'm thinking about one of those companies that come out and build it in your yard so it's really sturdy.
I'm still in paper work hell,and i have jet lag,and I have to go into the studio to make sure my cd is sounding as good as I can get it,with my throat in bad condition.
Just stressed a little..
I love you..
Hey y'all..doing absolutely nothing.
Got alot of paperwork to do..don't want to.
Gotta pack for this weekend in Germany.Don't feel like it.
I took that picture myself last week in London.
If your eyes are the windows to your soul...
what the heck is my soul thinking?..feeling...wanting..needing....?
A Real Nigga Show makes it's touring debut tonight at Wilberforce University in Ohio...
I know it's going great....
Can't wait until you hear the new CD....:)
I'm on a two day break before Incognito goes to Germany...I have to fly out Wed night....I'm glad I got a chance to spend Halloween with Jazzie and our family.
The producer for the new CD,gave me a copy of the roughs so I can gage what I need to redo...most of the work i did is cool..I just want it to be as close to perfect,as i can get it.
I am suffering from the beginning stages of acid reflux and my vocal chords have been inflamed for a while now.My doctor has me on all kinds of medication...
Ypu know what lesson I have learned from this? I wil NEVER ever give up singing because of some dumb music industry bull stuff.
Not having my moneymaker working in top condition has scared the HELL out of me.
My doc says that in 6 weeks i should be fine,but i have to make some behavioral changes,such as not eating 8pm,not even water.
No citrus foods,spicy,etc..(which is cool since I dont like spicy foods anyway)
I have to sleeop on my left side which feels a little weird simce I like sleeping on my stomach...
but I dont care what she told me to do .I am going to do it because if I lose my voice,i'm up the creek....
Incognito has a show in Cork,Ireland last weekend which was fun..We did about 8 new songs from the new CD which is always exciting...
I had a hard time memorizing the new songs Come Away With Me and When Tomorrow Brings You Down...and all the backgrounds on Imanni and Tony;s songs.
Carleen Anderson is joing us from The Forum Show till the end of the year.it's going to be fun being on tour with her!
I met Ed Motta and went out to dinner with Bluey and his family,Ed and his wife and Gail...we ate Lebonese food.which of course I was tripping about..I mean dag I just got used to Indian! but it was good...
Well I'm sleepy dahlins'...
I have just returned home after spending the a couple days recording with Kendall Duffie of the group Kloud 9 at his studio in Nashville.
We were recording a song called "Runnin'" for a compilation for Expansion Records in London.
This was my first time working with Kendall as a producer,and I was truly impressed.
After we finished some vocals Kendall took me to a club called Level 88,where I met my manager Berenice (who moved to Nashville a few years ago with her husband and daughter).
When we arrived,a couple of Kendalls friends were on the stage singing their booty's off! Then they called me up and the band played Deep Waters for me.
The next day we went to the Waffle House...I haven't been to one of those since I was on the Morgan Choir in college,and we used to go on those Southern tours.
After breakfast we recorded some more,and then went to do an interview at Fisk University's radio station 88.1 WFSK.
I really enjoyed the interview,it was relaxed and I was proud to be at another HBCU(Historically Black College and/or University).Thanks Tory! On Friday Night I had gone to Morgan's Homecoming Gala with my cousin Lauren. being at Fisk and Morgan made me want to go back to school. I think I might do just that. Whenever I find some time.
I really wish I could do a college tour one day.
Speaking of college tours,A REAL NIGGA SHOW,(which I produce,and my tour manager,Troy Burton directs ) ,is going on the road with a show at Wilberforce University on November 1,2005.
Also,another play that The Blueroses Entertainment Group is producing is from a young and upcoming actor from Baltimore named Robert Hardy.
His one man show is called Me ,Myself ,and Us,and it debuts at The Eubie Blake Jazz and Cultural Institute in Baltimore on October 19,20,and 21.
I'll get all of the deatils and post it on the news page later today.
I start recording a new CD today. It's a one off CD for Shanachie Records.
I have to record 2 songs a day because I have to leave to go on tour with Incognito on the 26 of October.
I'll keep you updated about our progress...
See ya soon..
Oh! The Revenge of The Underground Divas will happen one day next year ya'll.I need to sit down with a grant writer since this tour will be education based,and map out the game plan.
When I get back from taking Jazz tom school,I'll post some picturesfrom my weekend...
This turned out to be a really nice weekend. Last night(Saturday) I went on a ........DATE!!!! WHAT???? ,yes a DATE.
Can you believe it? I had a really nice time with a producer/singer/songwriter I met years ago in '99.
I have to get his permission to tell you who he is,(just to be fair) but anyway,he took me to a party in DC and then we went to the Cheesecake Factory in Bethesda,Maryland.
Very sweet man,opened every door,was very attentive..you know the usual good stuff. I had a really nice time.Did I 'let him get a kiss goodnight'? YES!! LOL
Today,I went to Atlantic City with my girlfriends,and instead of sitting in one casino losing all my money,I felt like doing something different. I took a look at the helicopter ride,and thought.."oh hell no"...I looked at the bungee jumping thingy..and thought yeah right..I can see those cords snapping when my booty gets on it..and then I saw THE HORSES ON THE BEACH!! EUREKA!!! I wanted to ride a horse so bad,and my cousin wanted to ride too,so we both decided to pay $25 dollars each. When it was our turn, my heart started beating so fast,and then it took a minute for me to pull myself up on top if that big joker,because I asked for the BIGGEST horse there! I know horses are strong but I didn't want to be the one to break his back.....lol.....anyway,the people who were guides were telling me that once I get on I wouldn't want to get off..and they were right. The ride was for 30 minutes and it seemed to be over so quick. MOOSE ,my horse was called,was a little wild...and the told me how to control him,so the whole time all I was saying was "WHOA MOOSE!".. I kept feeling like I was either gonna fall off,or he was gonna throw my butt to the ground..thank goodness we were on sand! There is a lot to learn about riding a horse and I think I want to start Jazzie early. By the half way point,the guide was calling me a cowgirl,and was flirting with me,talking all kinds of mess!! He told me to call him and he would give me riding lessons!!!!! (I would comment more but children may bereading this).
I think he told me his name was "Ram Rod"...LMAO!!!!(I swear he did!) He had me laughing the whole time!Made me forget I was scared! Then later he told me it was "Cowboy"...hahahaha..but really by 15 minutes I was really in the groove and feeling the rythmn and it's great exercise..I really wish I could make this an adult only diary...cause.....boy oh boy...I could tell you alot more about this experience,but I'm sure you catch my drift....LOLOLOL....
I know my thighs are stomach are gonna kill me tomorrow...
I'm gonna get the chat thing going and will post the number and time on the news page...I think we should change the date to Wednesday...
I know,I know..this is going to be a long one so you may need to read it in parts....
First check out my table at my friend Wandas' sister's house a couple weeks ago..I had a ball selling stuff i don't even look at anymore. I will be doing more yard sales in the future.I really have a good time selling my "stuff". :)
I must tell you,before I get started on Bulgaria and the Emmy's, I have just signed a new record deal today. It's a transitional piece of work that I am really excited about.
Next summer,I turn 40 years old,and plan to have a HUGE birthday celebration...(it's also my 15th year singing with Incognito)..anyway,the next cd that I release (after this transitional one ) will be one that is a life-changing,musical style changing metamorphosis of mind body spirit and music!
When I turn 40 it will mark my 34th year of being consumed by the desire to live my life as a storyteller through words and music.
Recently,the head of one of the "majors",told my manager that there was nothing there for me,even though he really respected my work.I must admit that "I "went there",getting all upset,trying to make it personal like i usually do,but this time the pain of rejection only lasted two days.
One,because I have tried to hold on to my theory of the 'Law of Attraction'and wanted to remain positive.Secondly,because I have a wonderful group of family and friends who take turns either cussing people out with me,or telling me straight to my face."GET OVER IT!"It's a wonderful yin and Yang and it helps me face reality much faster than before.And thirdly,because I got the call for this Transitional record a few days later! :) How awesome is that.The Law of Attraction REALLY WORKS!
So anyway,I am so excited about this project,but i can't tell you anymore about it because I want it to be sort of a surprise...it should be released in January,and hopefully my metmorphosis record will be released after my birthday..plus i will be promoting Incognito's new record in the states in 2006....Y'all..if I don't get great publicity with all this music coming out..I don't know what else to do.
One thing that I will be doing to promote my music next year is to do small club dates in alot of cities,tour like the old school days...
Okay..enough of that...
I had a nice time in Bulgaria with Incognito.
It was weird flying all over the place to do that one
gig,but boy what a gig it was!!!
Because I had to be back in LA on the 17th to go to the EMMY AWARDS,I had to take a train from Baltimore to Newark NJ,fly from Newark to London,London to Bulgaria,then on the Saturday before the awards,I flew from Bulgaria to London,London to Newark,and then Newark to LA...Saxophonist Tom Scott,(who wrote the theme song to Starsky and Hutch if ya didn't know..and who featured me on 'Dont Get Any Better Than This' on his Night Creatures CD)who has been the music director for the EMMYs for a few years now,invited me to come check it out form behind the scenes! I was as excited as a kid in Toys R Us!
On the day of the awards telecast (live),my best friend Kim took me to meet Tom because the Shrine Auditorium and all surrounding streets were under heavy heavy security,and I needed to ride with him since of course he had ALL ACCESS!!!
We got to the stage door and walked right pass a table with about 35 Emmy Awards on it! The lady watching them wouldn't let me takle a picture.In fact,I really don't have alot opf pictures to show you because It wasn't that kind of thing from the "inside" if you know what I mean. There was a place where pictures were taken and it was all organized and being in'their ' world I didn't feel like it was cool to keep asking people to take a picture. I felt uncomfortable about picture taking,yet EVERYONE I met was extremely NICE!! Yeah,it shocked me to see that the people all over the tabloids were considerate and actually very sweet. I didn't meet one egomanic the whole evening.
So anyway,I went to get dressed in Toms dressing room,and as I walk down the hall,I passed dressing rooms for Donald Trump,Macy Gray, Gary Dourdan.....from CSI,etc..They were there to do The Emmy Idol contest.
After I got dressed Tom asked me if I wanted to see the control room,and I met the producers of the Emmy's ,very gracious very polite.
We went into the Architectural Digest green room,and there was this lady sitting there with alot of papers,Tom knew her from when he did the Pat Sajak show or Chevy Chase show.I forget which one..he was the MD for both...anyway we spoke for a bit and then I look up and there was Teri Hatcher from Desperate Housewives!! And that when I discovered the lady in that room was the script lady and that I was in the PERFECT spot to see a hell of alot of people I watch on tv everyday.
In comes Quentin Tarrantino,Ben Affleck,theother Desperate Houswives...and it's funny..all these people spoke to me,not knowing who I was,and they all had this who are you? look on their faces! I was trippin!
I guess Tom saw that I was enjoying that spot so he went on to do some last minute stuff and when he came back ,there I was still grinning! I had such a ball!
Then we went to our seats and what an adventure that was..as we were walking,I saw so many people it was a trip.I can't even name all of them.But one person who stood out was Mathew St.Patrick who played Keith Charles on one of my favorite shows last year Six Feet Under.
That brother is so handsome.When he stopped to pass me I looked right in his eyes and said "hello" and he said hello baby!! AAGAGGGAHHHA!!! Whew...my little moment with Mathew...and I just saw him on tv a few nights before fantasizing my ass off about him! Wow LA is alright after all! Too bad he's married..I would have jumped on hm for real!
Just before the show was over I went back to another green room and there was the actress who plays Karen on Will and Grace.Now she is one of my mothers favorite tv actors..she loves Nash Bridges ,Monk and Karen on Will and Grace.And most times if I hear my mother screaming <FONTFACE="ARIAL size="2" Black?>laughing it's because of something "Karen " has said on that show. So I asked her if she would call my mom and she took the phone and said "hello Laura,this is Megan Mullally.I play Karen on Will and Grace" and then the whole room heard my mother Screaming!! LOL That was fun. She told my mother that she must be beautiful because I was looking absolutely beautiful that night.!
It's funny,because I have spent all of my career worried about my weight because of "hollywoods" standards,and here I was in Hollywood at one of their biggest events and the main players in this game were calling me beautiful all night!
Surreal. Okay enough ego trippin.
So in to the room comes Carson from Queer Eye for a Straight guy and I started beaming again,because I had just been on the airplane from London laughing so hard at this episode where they try to transform this single dad,and Carson was so funny on that show i had to contain myself on the airplane ..and then here he comes walking in to the room along with Ellen the host of the show.
He walks over to where I was sitting and the other people introduced me and I told him about the episode(what a nerd I am sometimes..but what else do you say?),and he said that he's heard of Incognito,and I said well I wish I had time to go get my CD's for you and to my delight and surprise,he told me he was gonna follow me to the dressing room to get them!!So I took him to the room and gave him my CD's! Awesome fun.
So after the show,we went to the Govenors Ball.On the way in Tom said maysa let me introduce you to WHOOPI GOLDBERG!!!! She turned to me took my hands and said chile I have seen you somehwere before! I have heard you sing somewhere! And at that moment i told her what a big fan I was..I know everyone says that! But I didnt know what else to say....and after the fact I remembered that she may have seen the PSA that Jazz and I did for the March of Dimes that ran all of last year all over the states!
Anyway I gave her my CD's!!
LOL..Then I turn around and meet Barbara Hershey. I told her that another one of my best friends and I cried when we went to see Beaches!So we sat down at a beautiful table and Macy Gray came in and I had her call my neice and Nephew!! I had people working that night. I just wanted my family to enjoy the night with me.I had such a great time and everyone made me feel so welcome. At that moment,Tom asked me if I had seen Charles Dutton and I said no...then i went to get up to go to the ladies room and ran right into his arms! i said hey i'm Maysa from baltimore and he said hey what are you doing out here..and I told him how Tom invited me and we talked for a while.he told me someone had just sent my last CD to his house on his farm in Howard county,andthat he comes to Baltimore from time to time! He asked me to send my numbers and stuff to his agent,because neither one of us had a pen...have I don that yet?? No! I'll get Troy or Bernie on it this week.
All in all after Tom dropped me off at my girlfriends house felt like Cinderella before 12 midnight.Dag,I had a ball.
There's so much more I could tell you..but I can hardly stay awake and I better get on to some other stuff before I get too sleepy. I'm determined to finish this diary tonight.
Baltimore,even without a drop of publicity,I still had a ball with the 200+ of you that showed up at the gig the other night.
I'm so sorry I was hoarse,but I tried to do my best.
There was a DVD made,I gotta check it first.The Rams Head Live is a GREAT venue.I mean GREAT. I hope that Incognito does that place when we come here.I told Bluey's manager about it yesterday.
Come on over to Dimensions in Music tomorrow at 11 am to check out Will Downing promoting his new CD.I'm gonna go support and buy one myself.
I'll try to get these pictures to load tonight. If they don't I'll get my cable modem fixed tomorrow and do it then...
Let's thank Raymond,who is busy with his beautiful family and work,for fixing the site so I can do updates.
Thank you Raymond.
I'm toast y'all..I have been up all night helping one of my friends deliver her baby! I'm Auntie Maysa again!
These tour dates are pencil dates so far and it is an uncomplete list.I just wanted to give you an idea of what's going on in my life right now.
September 3-Newport News,Virginia (private show)
September 16-Sofia ,Bulgaria-Incognito
September 29-Baltimore Maryland-Rams Head Live
DEC 15 fly to Thailand
DEC 16 Bangkok, Thailand
DEC 17 Seoul, Korea
DEC 18 Seoul, Korea (day off)
DEC 19-25 (7 days) Blue Note Tokyo
DEC 26 off DEC 27-28 (2 days) Nagoya Blue Note
DEC 29-31 (3 days) Osaka Blue Note
fly back on the 1st or 2nd January 2006
January 6-BlackPool,England-Maysa Smooth Sailing promo
My mom made these beautiful cakes for a friends baby shower..aren't they sweet!
Don't Forget!...I want to see you at the Ram's Head Live! In Baltimore onn September 29!
I just took Jazz to his Kindergarten orientation at school..joined the PTA..wow..I feel like a real mommy today.
I am taking a minute out my insane schedule to post some pictures from the last tour in Italy,Montreaux,home..etc...
I have a really bad tooth and it hurts so bad it makes me cry..haven't had a bad tooth in over 22 years!!!
Don't have any wisdom teeth,so it's not that...(no jokes Harron and TerrAnce)..just a bad infection..yuck...
Jazz has a new puppy named Sonny Bone-O....
We are going to London on Sunday so I can finish my songs on the new 'Cog CD,and Jazz is going along to spend some time with his daddy....
I started with my trainer last Monday,and haven't been back since,but I have been exercising on my own,so I'm still on my mission...
I feel like I'm about to meet my husband any minute now...I feel this exciting energy around me....like a romantic ,dreamy feeling.I know he's coming to me very soon....stronger feeling than it's been before.
Oh!! I had a BALL in Detroit...the City Council and the Mayor gave me the Key to the City..the Mayor called me and said he was my number one fan!! Awwwww!!
Hey everyone! Thanks for all of your beautiful responses regarding that stupid e-mail. y'all make me feel like a protected little (or older) sister!
Well the good news is that my meeting today went really well, and if all goes wonderful.......:)
Gotta keep a secret sometimes!
Many of you are new to the site,to my music,to my life....some have read my diaries and have tried to figure me out as a whole person,which I must say cannot be done.I am a complex woman,who is 100% about love. I have never wanted to,or tried to hurt anyone in my whole life.I have only treated people the way I wanted to be treated.
The music industry has not always been very kind to me.I live a highly stressful life,as we all do,and I must honestly admit that if God would just show me another way to make a living ,I will choose it,because this business is hurting me.
You may have heard /read me complaining about the lack of support I have gotten for my records..all which have been successful because of people like you who buy my music because of my voice,songwriting style and my choice of really good songs.But be that as it may,I still have to deal with heart -breaking realities of the music business.I have paid more dues,taken more shit,(no wonder I have weight issues,because I have eaten more humble pie than humanly neccessary),and yet my core foundation,God,my family,and the support of my listeners,and a handful of friends in the business have kept me going,tried to hold me up when the world was tearing me down. I have quit at least three times a year,and I have sacrificed little bits of my spirit everytime some bull goes down.
I have been good to everyone I have come across.I have been a top notch professional,and if you hear any complaints about me,it will be from people who didnt gain some type of control over me,financially,or mentally.
Today as I prepare myself to go to New York tomorrow for a meeting that could possibly turn my whole career around for the better,I get a call from my manager,who is sad,hurt and disappointed in an email she recieved from a person who made me an offer to do a show in D.C. in September.
This offer was 500 dollars above my asking price,and everything was going along fine until,the "boss" decided to speak his mind....
I am reprinting it here,to give you an example of what my life is like and why I really wonder why I continue on in this business.I am tired of being shit on and told I aint good enough.
I am also not a stupid woman so I am deleting personal and financial information.
I just want you to see for yourself.
But know this one thing. I KNOW WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM HERE FOR.
Maybe my time is done doing it this way because I don't have live like this.I surrender to whatever God wants me to do or to be from here on out.I intend on living the rest of my life Smoothly Sailing...
HERE IT IS Y'ALL...(by the way..the info regarding ticket sales is false)
[Thanks for the information.
$ is way too much for Maysa in my opinion.
It states that Maysa will handle travel; hotels; etc.
- she stays in Maryland so those should not even be
factors in her pricing.
Based on the numbers, venue size, show cost, her
recent appearance, and the last four shows for Maysa
in DC; her ticket sales individually did not produce
enough to cover her stated fee + a venue cost, let
alone marketing, etc.
The best show she had in the since of ticket sales -
was headlined by ? at the ? produced
by ?. Maysa received close to $ and had a
radio song out at the time.
Therefore, to jump to $ is definitely not working
Does she have a new single/album in radio rotation?
How many in her entourage? I will reach out to
? where they rehearse if you don't know the
answer to this last question.
Finally, I really love Maysa sound & music, but she is
not worth $ all-in. And that to me is being modest
if she is not hot right now.]
We are trying to resolve the messageboard issues.
They are saying that someone is reporting their newsletter as spam so they have to shut the board down.
I have sent countless emails and nothing has changed today..
maybe it will tomorrow...
See ya ,
Oh boyeeee....I'n finally getting sleepy.
I am wired up.... I've been feeling like something great is about to happen in my life.....I'm grateful for this feeling.
Alright..I'm going to sleep finally.
Hey y'all what's going on?
I'm getting geared up for Troy's play: A Real Nigga Show in Baltimore starting this Thursday.It runs for two consecutive weekends February 3-13.
The actors are amazing,and you will leave the theatre knowing exactly why these young actor /writers named their play in this manner.
It is highly entertaining and thought provoking.
Please join us.
For ticket prices and other details call:
The Theatre Project
45 W Preston St
Baltimore, MD 21201
My producer and friend Rex Rideout is nominated for a Grammy Award for producing the Forever,For Always For Luther tribute CD for Verve Records!!
I was so proud to be able to vote for him since I am a member of NARAS!
I'll definitely be watching the Grammy's this year and waiting by the phone for Rex!..
In other news,I just got an email from Incognito with some interesting tour dates,one of them being the Jakarta Jazz Festival.YES! I said Jakarta. I'm very surprised it's still happening,but maybe the proceeds are going to helping the survivors of the Tsunami.
Then we are off to Spain,Germany,and back to the Milan Blue Note for 6 nights.
I was just in California recently trying to record a song for a producer on the EMI label and my cold would not let me work at all.We tried anti-biotics,cold medicines...steam baths ..everything,but my nose was in the way. So I have to find some time at the end of Feb to finish my vocal.
While I was out there,I let an opportunity slip through my fingers and I guess writing it in my diary may help me get over it.
The hotel I was staying in had an ABC Network Winter Press Day in which different televsion shows had talent and directors and producers come out to do press on their projects.(Desperate Houswives were there too!)
Well it's no secret that I have been trying to get on The Oprah Winfrey show since I was on there with Stevie Wonder(singing background) when he was promoting Jungle Fever with Spike Lee in 1991.
Well... Oprah Winfrey and Halle Berry were both in the hotel at 11:00 am doing press for their production of Their Eyes Were Watching God.(By the way,I saw it on close circuit tv in my room the night before..it is wonderful!)
So since they showed the whole daily schedule on the hotel page on TV,I saw that they were going to be in the conference rooms downstairs at 11.
I had all of my promotional materials with me,my cd's calendars,bio's..etc..and I made two of them. I talked myself into just walking up to them after they were finished,introducing myself,and handing them my cd's.I thought to myself,at least maybe Oprah would be interested in my position as RSV Awareness Spokesperson.
Well by the time 11am rolled around,I had convinced myself that I was too scared of rejection to even try,and at 11:55 am I found myself at Jerry's Deli,half eating some pancakes,and disappointed in myself for letting that chance go by.That may have changed my whole career,but what I found out about myself was that I absolutely cannot take anymore rejection in this business.I have been paying dues for nearly 14 years.
I recently have been upset at the lack of radio play my CD is getting.There was a time when certaim stations like WHUR in DC and BET would play me all day long and now I never hear myself on the radio anymore.Its so hard to take ,I can't even explain it to you. It feels like someone out there is making it their mission to block me from all avenues of success with my music.If y'all only knew how many times doors have been slammed in my face even with my success with Incognito,and all the critcial acclaim of my music.
I emailed The Tom Joyner Show,(Smooth Sailing is perfect for promotion of his cruise..plus you can line dance to it) I called Cathy Hughes at Radio One,trying to get some kind of support from Black owned sources,but I know that its a far bigger ax to grind than just me calling.I know how radio works now,and until I sign with another label,I will always be in this position.(One thing I did learn is that if alot of people keep calling into stations they will play it if they add it to the playlist)....
But I can honestly say that I am TIRED. I love making music,I love singing live,I love doing interviews,and promotions,but this uphill battle is wearing me down and I have exhausted all of my energy.
That's depressing to say the least,even though I am looking at a few record deal offers,which is positive.At least people still want to hire me to sing.
I don't know what else to do but lean on God a little more each day and pray that he inspires someone down here to help me not let my music just die out without getting the exposure it deserves.
I resolved to stop cussing this year.I'm doing okay I guess.In this diary at least..I have slipped up in real life! LOL
I'm already listening to songs for the new cd..I haven't been inspired to write anything as of yet,but it will come soon.
Also,I am continuing my work with RSV Awareness..I just did a pre interview for a Discovery Health Channel show called Amazing Births..!
The Public Service Announcement that I did with Jazz and my band has been shown to 140 million people already.CNN added it and NBC will start showing it soon. Out of The Blue is featured throughout the PSA which is really cool.That could start the sales of OOTB up again.
So there is some good news...but I just want to see the fruit of my labor..you know what I mean.
Thanks to you guys being so supportive,I'm at least still in the game.
And if there are some people hell bent against me seeing any further success in my career can just kiss my bumper! No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I have been a faithful servant of my God and I know that things will change for the betterment of my life and my family's lives.I know that if I keep making positive music,everything is gonna be alright.
I'm okay..thanks for listening.
(and God ,please send me my husband.Amen) :)