Many people ask me how do I seem to be writing strictly for them? How do I seem to be reading their minds? I'm not really. I just go through all the same ups and downs,revelations,mistakes,hopes and dreams like everyone else. I just do it publicly.Sometimes it's not a good idea,because people take my kindness for weakness,or somehow equate my honesty about my feelings with being a weak person. I am truly not weak. I have weathered many storms in my ALWAYS blessed and highly favored life. How can I say that I have been through storms and have been highly favored? It's my faith in GOD. I just keep believing in HIM and I seem to always win no matter what the situation is. There are many things that have yet to manifest in my life. I totally believe in the LAW of ATTRACTION and Deliberate Creating. I do my best to think positive as much as humanly possible. But of course we all face challenges in areas of our lives that cause monumental stress. I talk to GOD ALL DAY LONG. I promised HIM that I would do my best every day HE sends me,to walk by faith and not by sight. I promised HIM that I would from this day forward,promise to focus on getting healthier,raising my son the best I can,take good care of my mom,love and be here for my friends and family,fix my finances and continue to work hard to better my career so that I can retire in 12 years..
One thing that I spoke to GOD about,was that I have given up on love. The one thing that has eluded me my whole life. I mean I have been in love,but I mean the kind that I have written about and hoped for for as long as I can remember. It sounds negative...I know....But it's not really. There have been only a couple disppointments in my life that kinda hurt real bad..1..that my career hasn't taken off the way I had always hoped. But I have to say that I am very Grateful for how far I have gotten. I think I have done a good job in the last 19 years. 2...that I have never found THE ONE! I know I know....Im gonna get all kinds of letters saying I shouldnt give up,I chose the wrong men,GOD hasnt sent him to me yet,just wait,blah blah blah...lol.
I just want to express myself today. I'm DONE with that. I have been hurt so much that I dont have any TRY AGAIN left in my soul.
I wonder how this is going to affect my music,lyrically..I mean I guess I will always write about positive love.
One thing I really want you to know,is that I am still very happy. Even though I havent seen certain things come true in my life YET,I KNOW they will. My career will blossom even more,I will get a GRAMMY NOMINATION,I will get all of my finances straightened out,and I will raise Jazz to be a wonderful human being.(He's already great little boy),I will enjoy my life...go on a real vacation for once( to DUBAI or Monte Carlo),spend more time with my friends,going out to dinner, etc..
I just feel like I have to give up things that continuously hurt me,in order to really experience the true happiness I desire.
I'm at the beginning stages of it now. And it feels like I'm free. Yes I will still flirt and maybe even hang out if I meet someone cool,( I LOVE MEN..esp. ones with muscles..YUM) but I will not allow myself to fall in love ever again. Not interested in the mind games,drama and emotional baggage. Only want to be friends.
I AM NOT BEING NEGATIVE. This is a positive thing. Believe me.
One fun thing that I am focusing on is my 1971 Mach 1 Mustang that I am restoring!!
Its gonna take a while..Im sure its a little expensive,but i really enjoy looking for parts online!! I havent decided whether to restore it just for me and Jazz to drive around in or to the level of trying to take it to that big car auction.
Alright,I'm gonna go take a nap..take it easy everyone. I love you. It's all good!!
MAYSA
3 comments:
Love yourself. Get into you. Don't hope or wish for love, or give up on love. Yes, give up on wanting to have love or be in love. Pursuing and hoping for love is a quiet desperation. It's an aura - that we can't quite see or describe - yet it chases men away. When you are pressing, you are pushing away. Let Go. When you are not thinking about it, that is when it falls right in your lap. Forget about hoping and trying to find the right man or for being in love for the sake of love. Be your owe lover, be that (soft) muscular person that you adore. Love your body, embrace yourself, your life, family and friends and spirit will take care of the rest.
Maysa please start back writing in your diary...its theraputic. :) I love your music and Im a huge fan of your gift. Please continue to do what you do. Your music has true depth and soul with is something most music of today totally lacks. I pray all is well with you and you son. I will be going to Chene Park to see you on August 10 in Detroit, and I cant wait! I pray that you continue to be blessed.
Hmmm...I've been where you are now as far as men are concerned. I can appreciate the "not looking" aspect. I was in a similar relationship having my heart ripped apart. I swore that I'd wouldn't even get involved again. But as it happened (in HIS time, not mine) He brought someone into my life and things look so different to me now. It's beyond the "love" stage. We've BOTH been hurt, yet we're learning to take one day at a time. And in doing so we heal together...
In HIS time...I wish you ALL the love that you so beautifully sing about, having it wrap it's love all around you.
As far as how your music will change..you music will reflect your feelings,hopes and dreams that you keep close to your heart. Every track that you've ever made I have heard and honestly it's shameful that you haven't been honored as you should be. You are a diamond that has been over-looked. But HE has the plan..YOUR plan and knowing how He works it will be unforgetable. Just like your music.
One love.
Diamonis
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